Dear Diary,
It's Brian Cashman again. God help me, I have to send that turd Ian Kennedy to the mound tonight. What a mouthy piece of shit that kid is. If he doesn't pitch well, I'll never hear the end of it; "Why didn't you trade for Santana?" "Kennedy is a rusty douche!" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" And those phone calls from Joel Sherman; that little shit couldn't manage a franchise if it was the '98 Yankees. I general managed the shit out of those guys.
Oh god, I can hear Hank and Hal coming down the hall; please don't let Hal have his cattle prod with him. Diary, I'm going to go hide in the visitor's clubhouse broom closet until 3AM.
-Brian Cashman
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