Dear Diary,
It's Brian Cashman again. I'm so scared... I'm hiding under my desk hoping that Hank doesn't find me. It doesn't matter that we won five in a row, losing to Baltimore because Joba wasn't available... Oh God...
I can hear his footsteps...
I'm so scared...
...
I think he's gone. I have to go find my teddy bear and change my pants.
-Brian Cashman
Dear Diary,
It's Brian Cashman again. Despite walking four guys (including that zero Bynum; how the hell do you walk Freddie Bynum?), Ian managed to not suck and we won the game. Hank slapped my ass this morning and shouted "Good job kid" at me. If he wasn't signing my paychecks I would snap his neck.
I'm going to drive around town with the top down today; I fucking deserve it.
-Brian Cashman
Dear Diary,
It's Brian Cashman again. God help me, I have to send that turd Ian Kennedy to the mound tonight. What a mouthy piece of shit that kid is. If he doesn't pitch well, I'll never hear the end of it; "Why didn't you trade for Santana?" "Kennedy is a rusty douche!" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" And those phone calls from Joel Sherman; that little shit couldn't manage a franchise if it was the '98 Yankees. I general managed the shit out of those guys.
Oh god, I can hear Hank and Hal coming down the hall; please don't let Hal have his cattle prod with him. Diary, I'm going to go hide in the visitor's clubhouse broom closet until 3AM.
-Brian Cashman
Dear Diary,
It's Brian Cashman again. Well, we finally won a game. It was only against Baltimore, but I think Hank will be off my back, at least until the next loss. He's making me move Joba to the rotation now... why did I ever think The Boss's sons would be any better?
I swear, one of these days I'm going to kill all of the Steinbrunners.
-Brian Cashman
